The Money Talk

Any relationship that makes it past the initial stages has to deal with one very sensitive issue and that issue is money. The tricky thing with money is that everybody has peculiarities about what it means and what it does to him/her. Every person tends to have money baggage depending on how their parents raised them and how much money is in their past, but also how they currently handle their cash and what they think their financial future will look like.

Money talk can become a necessity at different points in a relationship. If the two of you are planning a vacation together, buying major appliances together or if you’ve been arguing over the issue, the subject should definitely be breached. The only thing to remember is that when the money talk does come up, deal with it right away instead of putting it off. Any procrastination could lead to feelings of resentment or guilt toward you or your partner.

The dreaded money talk is such a sensitive issue -- even if both parties are well off and financially stable -- so there are a few particular ways in which you should be approaching the subject with your mate.
Dedicate time to the discussion
This doesn’t mean that you need to mark a day on the calendar to have “the money talk.” However, it does means that you should take time to really hash out the subject and see it through to its conclusion. Make sure any hangups or last minute items you want to share about money are brought into the open. Not only will this help to prevent surprises for her in the future, it will also keep the issue from coming up again and again. If you can prevent future arguments with your first money talk, it will be well worth your while.
Frame it in positive terms
As with any other argument, it’s best not to use negative terminology and accusing language. Instead, try to let go of any anger you’re feeling to shed positive light on the money talk. For instance, talk about how the two of you will save money by planning finances now. Addressing the issue in this manner will make the discussion more light-hearted, and spare some hard feelings.
Don’t impose your views
You may think you’re right, but it’s not just your money that\'s involved. If you try to place a strict budget or dictate what should be top priority with your collective funds, you’re going get staunch resistance. Be sure to recognize what your money issues are during the money talk, because it’s hard to be sensitive to others’ preferences if you don’t know your own. Once you know how you feel and how she feels you can work toward an equitable agreement.

The money talk doesn\'t have to turn into a money argument with these tips...

Be flexible
If you try to fit somebody into your budget mold, you will probably have trouble keeping them around. People feel trapped if they’re limited with their money. Instead, during the money talk, discuss budgets and money so that both parties can put in their two cents, so to speak. Also, be open to adjusting a budget plan after you’ve found out if it works or not. If it’s too restrictive for either party, fix it or else you’ll fall off the rails altogether.
Work in specifics
Instead of working in lump sums, break down your expenses into specific groupings so there’s no question as to where the finances go. Instead of just splitting up money into vague areas such as “necessary funds” and “fun money,” break it down into groups like “food” and “travel.” This way you’ll remember to include all expenses and be able to see what can be cut down -- or out, as the case may be. Work together to shape out exactly how the plan should work. If your lady refuses to be a part of it -- some women still insist that they don’t have the “brain” for money -- then make a budget that you think speaks for both of you and stick to it. Bring it up in future discussions about money so that you can really work toward common financial goals.
Don’t patronize
You should never talk down to your girl, and this is especially true during such a sensitive money talk time. Even if she’s not a savvy financial planner, she’s probably got some ideas as to how money works and where she wants hers to go. Talking down to her belittles her contribution and will make her less likely to want to cooperate. If you have a leg up on financial knowledge, explain what’s needed in everyday terms and ask her opinion about what she hears. If you work together on this she’ll be more likely to stick to it and feel good about it, and you’ll further your financial future together.
money talks
The money talk is similar to any other serious issue that comes up between you and your main girl. You will have to be sensitive and flexible in order to illicit cooperation and work toward a common goal. This, like any other obstacle, can be overcome, but it will take dedication from the two of you.